Reconciliation

Romans 14:1-12

Yesterday, we had the opportunity at church to hear an incredible story of reconciliation from Steve T. As Steve said, redemption of relationships is an incredible thing, and I truly do see it to be a gift from God. Steve’s incredible storytelling led me to reflect on an important story of reconciliation in my own life.

For as long as I can remember, my family has had an incredibly close relationship with the Imus family. My dad and Jamie Imus have been friends since my dad was in college at University of Puget Sound. When the Imus family moved to Bellingham when I was a toddler, our families became inseparable. I refer to Jamie and Lisa Imus as my “bonus parents,” and their daughters, Maryn and Larsen, are like siblings to me. We grew up doing Sunday night dinners together almost every week and attending FPC together. I have incredibly fond memories of all the Imus-Morse events that involved coming up with elaborate dance routines to perform for the parents, screaming with glee over Mario Kart races, forcing my brother, Nic, to watch Barbie princess movies, watching our parents play Catan, receiving thorough lessons in sarcasm, listening to endless amount of James Taylor, enjoying delicious dinners that our dads cooked up, and laughing in an almost-peeing-your-pants type of way.

The relationships I have with the Imuses are so meaningful to me because the Imuses taught me some of my most important lessons about the world around me. From Maryn and Larsen, I learned the importance of authenticity in relationships, grew to appreciate the humility that it takes to forgive, and became well-versed in expression of joy. Jamie and Lisa showed me unconditional love, encouraged me in my faith, and cemented my confidence in who I am as a human. Undeniably, the Imus-Morse family is cemented together by the themes of unconditional love and support that Jesus championed.

For a myriad of inconsequential reasons, Larsen and I grew apart during high school. These reasons now feel so trivial that I honestly struggle to describe them in sentence form. What I will say is that there were a multitude of instances in our relationship when I responded with fear when I should have loved, judged when I should have been kind, and grew cold when I should have embraced compassion. I hold my fair share of responsibility for driving a wedge between us. At the time, I could’ve used a verbal slap in the face that resembled the language of Romans 14 verse 10:

“You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.”

There was never a time wherein I considered Larsen to be an enemy or ceased to regard her as a friend. However, there was a period of time during which we were not nearly as close as we were when we were younger, and our relationship felt seriously strained. We talked very little, and when we did, conversation was polite, but lacked the richness and joyfulness that had previously characterized our dynamic.

Thankfully, Larsen and I have rekindled our relationship in the past few years. Last August, Larsen and I happened to be home in Bellingham at the same time, and we got to hike from Artist Point to Herman Saddle via the Chain Lakes trail. The views of Mount Baker, Mt. Shuksan, Iceberg Lake, and Table Mountain were perfect, and the sunny weather was the icing on the cake. The natural scenery seemingly reflected the perfection of this moment in the progression of our relationship. There’s not necessarily one instant over the previous years that I can point to in which our relationship was instantaneously healed, but this hike certainly felt like the culmination of an extended healing process for our friendship. We were able to verbalize some of the more tender components of the stains that had occurred in our relationship and reflect on the victories of the reconciliation of our friendship. In addition, we were able to laugh with each other and have fun together in a child-like way that emulated the dynamic of our friendship when we were little kids.

I’m so lucky to have a woman as amazing as Larsen in my corner. Larsen is stubborn to the extreme – in the best way possible. Larsen is kind in a way that feels like a ray of sunshine. Larsen is brave – she knows who she is, and is not afraid to embark on whatever adventure it is that best expresses her authentic self. Larsen is sarcastic to her core – she’s not afraid to unleash a comment that makes you double over with laughter. Larsen is loyal – she knows who her people are, and she sticks by them through their worst.

I’m honored and proud to call Larsen my friend. The challenges our friendship has faced make our relationship even more meaningful and rich. Last weekend, the entire Imus family visited San Luis Obispo for my graduation. During dinner on Saturday night, my extended family blessed me with incredibly kind words of affirmation upon my graduation. When it was Larsen’s turn, she looked at me and told me that “It has been an honor to walk alongside you in this life,” which of course made me cry on the spot.

What a beautiful way to describe the intimacy of the relationship I share with Larsen and her entire family: “walking alongside” them. Despite our friendship’s ups, downs, cartwheels, and spin-outs, I’m so lucky that I get to take on this life with Larsen by my side.