God Through the Fog
Acts 17
I hiked and camped at Yellow Aster Butte near Mt. Baker this week. I took two days off from work and enjoyed being led by Mike Neeley on this intentional experience to allow space for God. I have been processing some stress-mental-health-work-family-relationship-with-God-and-finding-rest issues in my life for a few months. As we began this hike, Mike read a “Prayer of Relinquishment” and we read a scripture from Mathew together. I was intrigued by a bit of what we read, and it became the source of my contemplation as I hiked up the trail. Mike’s plan was for each of us to hike solo to give space for us to think and listen to the Holy Spirit. To my dismay it was foggy and misting as we hiked and none of the promised views of Mt. Shuksan / Baker were visible. In fact, almost nothing but my feet and 30 yards of trail were visible through the dense clouds. I trudged up the trail, my mind as foggy as the sky, with a confusing jumble of words and thoughts. I was unable to put together the incoherent and disconnected contemplation, but the prayer and scripture we had read rumbled in my mind for the whole morning.
When I read Acts 17 this morning, for the blog, I zeroed in on this portion of our scripture for the day. (see italicized below) This is Paul talking to people in Athens. He has been chased from the last two towns he has been in for speaking too boldly about Jesus. Of course, he cannot control himself and repeats the same “crime” when he lands in Athens.
23 For as I went through the city and looked carefully at the objects of your worship, I found among them an altar with the inscription, “To an unknown god.” What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. 24 The God who made the world and everything in it, he who is Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in shrines made by human hands, 25 nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mortals life and breath and all things. 26 From one ancestor[i] he made all nations to inhabit the whole earth, and he allotted the times of their existence and the boundaries of the places where they would live, 27 so that they would search for God[j] and perhaps grope for him and find him—though indeed he is not far from each one of us.
I was particularly focused on verse 27. Search for God…Grope for him…though indeed he is not far from each one of us. This searching and groping reminded me of my hiking contemplations. ‘WHAT are you trying to tell me God?”
We set up camp in a meadow by a small lake. We could barely see an acre of space through the misty clouds. With some more free time, I curled up in my sleeping bag and took a nap. As I awoke, I read the scripture Mike had given us for the afternoon. The story of Bartimeus the blind beggar. In the scripture his Dad, Timeus, is mentioned. I hiked around the area, still searching my mind/soul and trying to put together some pieces in my brain. The disparate thoughts seemed important, but totally confusing. What is God trying to teach me in these prayers and reading?
“I will show you real rest”
“Release control”
“Sit with what is real, celebrate, grieve, feel”
“Learn the unforced rhythms of grace”
“God the Father is safe and strong to hold the cares and concerns that I release”
Over the course of the afternoon, during quiet hiking and contemplation, the disconnected scripture, prayers, and thoughts, began to come together and simplified in my mind. Just like Timeus, Bartimeus’ Dad, who could not fix or save his blind beggar son, neither can I fix or save the work and family stressors. However, our God can carry all of this if I will release control and know that the father is strong enough for my stuff. In this is REAL REST.
We woke up the next morning to clear, blue sky. We could finally see the mountains, hills and lakes all around us. I had learned a lesson within a lesson. I found that God was teaching me something about REAL REST, but also like the mountains hidden by the fog, present all the while, God was ‘indeed never far from each one of us.’